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Speckles of perfection

You know those magical scenes in movies where for a moment everything is perfect? Moments that feel like they could never be ruined, because they feel so real and right. Well, those moments are staged, but in my life I’ve had a handful of experiences that seemed almost a bit too perfect in the seconds or minutes they were happening. 

These minuscule moments will forever hold vivid stories, feelings and memories.

(In chronological order)

[9 years old] It was a really hot day in June, school had just let out, and I was over at my friend Sophia’s house. We were in her kitchen that had a door leading to the back yard. We lived in Maryland, where summers are humid and sticky. There was a can of Sierra Mist on the table. We ran out into her yard where there were either sprinklers or a hose, and ran through them to cool down. I don’t remember much else from that day, but that moment has for some reason stuck with me as a memory near and dear to my heart. 

[15 years old] It was a Friday night and I was out with a bunch of people. I don’t remember much about where we were and what we were doing, but I do remember my friend Jana and I walking into a shopping center, looking for an ATM and speaking really loudly in British accents, finding it hilarious. All of a sudden, a man turned around and said “Oh my god, are you from England?! I’M FROM ENGLAND TOO!”. It was funny because 1) our accents were probably horrible and 2) we were in an empty shopping mall in the middle of Skopje, Macedonia.

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[16 years old] My friend Iva and I were at our favorite bar, our friends were playing a gig that night, and everyone was drunk. We were all dancing, and the moment the band started playing “I bet that you look good on the dance floor” by the Arctic Monkeys, my friend Iva and I danced like there was nobody around us whatsoever. Everything felt right. I felt free and happy, and at those few minutes, life was perfect. 

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[18 years old] My friend Simona and I went on vacation together, just the two of us. We were on a Greek island and we rented a shitty little scooter to get around. I remember us riding that scooter on the side of a mountain, the sun burning the top of my right foot, the wind blowing in my face, and I remember feeling a sense of overwhelming happiness. Freedom really is renting a shitty motor bike with one of your best friends on a Greek island.

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[19 Years old] It was a weekday, and it was about 10 pm. Lindsey and I had been writing essays all evening, and I remember that she looked at me and said “wanna grab all our stuff and go sleep in the woods”? With no hesitation on my part, we grabbed everything we needed (sleeping bags, yoga mats, warm clothes) and took off. I remember one of our housemates looked at us being like, aaare you serious? We were. After that I remember falling asleep to soothing soothing sounds of nature. We woke up bright and early when an otter (or some other animal) jumped into the water nearby and made a big splash. We made it to our 8:30 am class the next morning with time to spare.

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[20 years old] The particular moment I remember the most was 3 am, sitting on the pavement in front of train station in Pistoia, Italy with Tijana. The 24 hours before that moment consisted of a car ride, a plane ride, a bus ride, two trains, trying to find the room we booked in Florence, and an Arctic Monkeys concert. I remember that as we waited for the first train back to Florence (which was at 6 in the morning), I was still trying to mentally process everything that had happened – and it was perfect.

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[20 years old] Kyle and I were in London, walking out of a Jake Bugg concert. We were free, happy, full of adrenaline, and I remember stumbling out of the venue and just feeling like “HOLY SHIT LIFE IS AMAZING”. Always a great thing.

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[21 years old] My friend Hannah and I were at a diner near school, it was a Saturday at about 10:30 in the morning, and the diner was full of old people. We were eating farmers omelets that tasted like real, delicious food. I took a sip of my diner coffee (free refills) and felt a cold drop on my shoulder. Turns out, the roof was leaking right above me. It was a perfectly imperfect diner brunch date.

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I feel like I could go on forever, but this is a good start. None of these moments were spectacular, but they’re all perfect bits of time that will forever be a part of me. 

-PositivelyCurvy

Flight anxiety: Tales of an adventurer

Airplanes: my one true love, and my absolute worst nightmare.

I am an adventurer with a bold spirit. I love mountains and rivers, valleys and hills, cities and streets, shops and parks. I love the beach, and I love the snow. New places excite me to no end. I used to be unable to sleep before flying, from the sheer excitement of embarking on a new adventure. I used to dream of soaring through clouds made of cotton, and floating mid-air with nothing but the sun above. I used to.

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Somewhere along the way, something changed. On a flight from Philly to Vegas, I sat stiffly in my plane seat and waited for take-off. My heart was beating way too fast, my palms were sweating, and worst of all – I felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest. Like someone was gripping my lungs with their bare hands. Where were these feelings coming from?

Nobody enjoys turbulence, but I used to just be able to ignore it. Seriously, the plane could shake however much it wanted to, and I would just look out the window, or scribble my way through a sudoku. On this particular flight, everything felt wrong. The moment we hit a rough patch right above Vegas, I broke down. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk, all I could really do was cry. Tears were streaming down my face as turbulence shook the seat under me, not even that severely. All I wanted was to be safe on the ground where I could fill my lungs with the air they longed for. My parents tried to calm me down, but couldn’t understand why I was acting in this strange manner. I’ve flown frequently my whole life, often traveling overseas, and often traveling alone. Turns out, this was my first in-flight panic attack.

That was half a year ago, and since then, I’ve flown 9 more times. My life has always consisted of movement and travel, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Unfortunately, the panic and fear got worse before it got better. I’m well aware of the fact that, yeah – airplanes are safer than cars, and yeah – turbulence isn’t a life-or-death situation. Reading reassuring fact on the internet did not help me one bit. I tried tackling the problem (and failed) so many times before I made some fairly minimal progress.

What makes me feel better:

I don’t want to lie and tell you that my flight anxiety is cured, because that would be a lie. Fortunately, I’ve learned how to manage it (for the most part). A piece of cloth with lavender essential oil on it (it relaxes me and calms me down), a pair of headphones (to make the plane noises softer, rather than for music), and breathing exercises. The most important of these is definitely the last one.
Breathing exercises have been a life-saver for me. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold it for 7, breathe out for 8. In 1-2-3-4, hold 1-2-3-4-5-6-7, out 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8. Simple, but effective.

I also prefer to travel alone. While traveling with someone can be comforting, I find that when people worry and care for me, it makes me all the more anxious. A stranger on the other hand, is someone you can make a fool of yourself in front of, because you’ll probably never see them again. I can’t even fathom the amount of wonderful strangers that have held my hand as I’ve tried to take control of my anxiety. Thank you, you nice people.

*Pro tip: if you inform the flight attendants about your anxiety beforehand, they’ll give you free alcohol, which is never a bad thing.

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If you take anything away from reading this post, let it be one thing:

Fear attracts fear. The moment you learn to control it, is the moment you’ll learn to be free. 

Now, go hike those mountains. Play in the sand, run through the snow, spend the day at central park, or make love under the stars. Just try not to get caught.

 

-PositivelyCurvy

Together

Dearest blogger friends,

It’s been a little while since I last wrote to you. The reason being, is that I had many beauty related posts planned, but with current world events – none of them felt particularly relevant.

My heart goes out to anyone affected by the tragedies of the last few weeks. I’m right here, grieving with you.

I’ll be back once I gather my thoughts some more. As for now, they’re scattered to an unbelievable extent.

Sincerely,

PositivelyCurvy

 

Adventures: The importance of getting away

I’ve always been into the concept and thrill of adventure. I wouldn’t say that I’d be the first one to sign up for rock-climbing, but I find it extremely important to take a break out of whatever routine you’ve gotten yourself into, and just go. Having the ability to just leave everything and go, surprisingly requires a lot of planning. This is why, the next time you see an opportunity to do anything that you feel like you’ll remember for the rest of your life – anything that you’ll look fondly back on, I dare you to do it.

Today, I’m going to share with you photos of a time my best friend and I went on a little adventure of our own. We had just finished our junior year of college, and I made sure to book my flight back home about a week later than I would have otherwise. We got into her car and headed to Cape Cod. See, I’ve never been to Cape Cod, and she’s spent her summers there, yet I’m pretty damn sure it felt like an adventure to both of us. We packed our backpacks, a tent, sleeping bags, a stand up paddle board, and lots of snacks.

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Adventures and trips don’t need to be extravagant. No need to whip out your credit card and book that cruise in hopes of getting some peace of mind. You can start by turning the music up in the car and singing at the top of your lungs – but only after you’ve gotten a coffee big enough to get you through the first hour.

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Once we got there we set up our living are for the next two days. Again, we really just enjoyed the set up process and took in the beautiful sceneries that surrounded us.

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When you’re in such a setting, you don’t need to plan any further. You’re not on any sort of schedule, and you really can just do what feels right. Whether that’s sitting on the beach, going into “town” (i mainly mean grocery stores and restaurants), or simply just exploring your surroundings. Our adventure took its own pace, and was filled with all of the above.
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By “took its own pace” I mainly mean that we ate a lot of fried seafood. No one’s ever going to complain about that. But more importantly, we took the time to appreciate the sun, the wind, the waves, and the sand.

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Upon watching one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen (Cape Cod sunsets are magical), we got into our tent and wrapped ourselves up in our sleeping bags and slept and slept and sleeeept until we naturally woke up happy and rested. I think that my favorite part about camping is that you can take your time waking up. And you can have breakfast in bed because where else would you have breakfast otherwise?

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Being rested means more energy for exploring. We spent the rest majority of that day on the beach, and went on to eat more amazing food.

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Now go, do something that you can write a book about later on in your life. Create memories that will not only inspire others, but that’ll continue to inspire you. Enjoy the thrill of adventure, no matter how big or small. 

Till next time,

PositivelyCurvy

New York City Adventures

Hello lovely readers,

I’m back after a month long break – AND I’M SO HAPPY TO BE BACK.
I arrived in Manhattan last night, and I will be spending the next four months living, working and studying here. Everything is big, overwhelming, and absolutely exciting. This morning we took the subway to all of the places around the city where we have class, and then walked over the Brooklyn bridge. Now it’s time for me to get all fancied up and go to an alumni event.

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This is going to be a good semester. Get ready for a lot of travel as well as tons of make up related posts.

Srna

On being sick and in college

Being sick while at college is one of the most frustrating things a young person at the ripe age of 21 can experience. On one hand, I’ve been living out of my parents house for over three years so you’d think that I should know how to deal with this by now. On the other hand – I need my mommy.
It’s kind of funny, but being sick tends to bring warm and happy memories to me. I remember when I was really little, I would get to sprawl out on my parents’ big bed and watch cartoons all day instead of going to school. Also every time, without a miss, my grandma would come visit and bring me a juice box and some snacks. So – that resulted in me associating being sick with good things, which in itself is pretty screwed up.
But alas, no. When you’re in college being sick most certainly does not result in endless cartoons and free snacks. More like limited cartoons and snacks you pay for by yourself.
As I now consider myself a pro in dealing with sickness all by myself, here are some tips for you:

1. Tea. Tea. Some more tea (lemon and honey as well). Tea is good for your body, soul, and most importantly – throat. The lemon gives you a boost and the honey hugs your throat in ways you can’t even imagine. Also bonus points if you use a Christmas mug, because Christmas mugs are pure joy, and studies have proven that they make you feel better.* My favorites are peppermint, chamomile and plain black breakfast tea.

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2. DayQuil and NyQuil (or the cheapest variations of them that you could find). Here’s the thing – I’m a college student, I’m poor, and the little money I have tends to go to make up and clothing so I really can’t splurge on fancy medicine. DayQuil is amazing, NyQuil is the devil. DayQuil helps you actually get out of bed and be productive (look, I’m even writing a blog post)! NyQuil should ONLY be taken when you really need it because otherwise you will have no chance of waking up on time / will be transformed into a zombie for the first few hours of your day.

3. Cancel all your extracurricular activities but try to make it to your classes. I know, being in class when you’re sick is annoying – but anything you retain will be better for you in the long run. And while sports and singing groups are fun – they’re probably not what your body needs when you’re fighting off a sickness.

4. Naps on naps. Come back from class and watch some Netflix. Allow yourself to fall asleep. Don’t set any alarms.

5. SKYPE. If I’m missing my mom – she’s only a Skype call away. Although, she usually makes me show her my throat, so I tend to just…. wait a few days.

So drink up that tea, and watch Dora the Explorer even though if anyone found out, it would be embarrassing (Erm… I don’t do that, that’s a suggestion for YOU). If you have any other tips and tricks, let me know in the comments!

Talk soon,

Srna

 

*You read this on the internet so it must be true.